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When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.
Sam Levenson
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Sam Levenson
Age: 68 †
Born: 1911
Born: December 28
Died: 1980
Died: August 27
Humorist
Journalist
Writer
New York City
New York
Samuel Levenson
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More quotes by Sam Levenson
Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is we'll find it.
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You don't have to be in Who's Who to know what's what.
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Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
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It's not the sugar that makes the tea sweet, but the stirring.
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The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.
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One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.
Sam Levenson
Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.
Sam Levenson
Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
Sam Levenson
The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.
Sam Levenson
If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
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Don't watch the clock do what it does. Keep going.
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You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
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Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.
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It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.
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I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.
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We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.
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Times don't change. Men do.
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Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.
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Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.
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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
Sam Levenson
