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When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.
Sam Levenson
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Sam Levenson
Age: 68 †
Born: 1911
Born: December 28
Died: 1980
Died: August 27
Humorist
Journalist
Writer
New York City
New York
Samuel Levenson
Two
Showed
Home
Reports
Wanted
Points
Gotten
Cards
Arithmetic
Mark
Assessment
Came
Report
Mother
Card
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Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village
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It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.
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I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
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Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.
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Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is we'll find it.
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Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
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Happiness is a by-product. You cannot pursue it by itself.
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Don't watch the clock do what it does. Keep going.
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The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
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Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.
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People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed.
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The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.
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If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
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Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.
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