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When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.
Sam Levenson
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Sam Levenson
Age: 68 †
Born: 1911
Born: December 28
Died: 1980
Died: August 27
Humorist
Journalist
Writer
New York City
New York
Samuel Levenson
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Points
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Arithmetic
Mark
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Mother
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Reports
More quotes by Sam Levenson
You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
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Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
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Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.
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The Puritans came to America to worship in their way and to force everybody else to do the same thing.
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I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.
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The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.
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One of the virtues of being very young is that you don't let the facts get in the way of your imagination.
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The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.
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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
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The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
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Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.
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When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?
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It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.
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You don't have to be in Who's Who to know what's what.
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It's not the sugar that makes the tea sweet, but the stirring.
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Learn from other people's mistakes. Life is too short to make them all yourself.
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The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.
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Don't watch the clock do what it does. Keep going.
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Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is we'll find it.
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Times don't change. Men do.
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