Quote

When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.

Sam Levenson

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Sam Levenson
Age: 68 †
Born: 1911
Born: December 28
Died: 1980
Died: August 27
Humorist
Journalist
Writer
New York City
New York
Samuel Levenson
Mother
Card
Two
Showed
Home
Reports
Wanted
Points
Gotten
Cards
Arithmetic
Mark
Assessment
Came
Report

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It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
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The American success formula is first to get a home of your own, then to get a car of your own so you don't have to stay in that home of your own.
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It's a good thing that when God created the rainbow he didn't consult a decorator or he would still be picking colors.
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People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed.
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Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.
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The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.
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It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.
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I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.
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We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.
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Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
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Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.
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If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
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Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.
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Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped.
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I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
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Any beast can cry over the misfortunes of its own child. It takes a mensch to weep for others' children.
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Lead us not into temptation. Just tell us where it is we'll find it.
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The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy.
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Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village
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The simplest toy, one which even the youngest child can operate, is called a grandparent.
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