Quote

When I came home and showed my mother my report card with a mark of 98 in arithmetic, she wanted to know who had gotten the other two points.

Sam Levenson

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Sam Levenson
Age: 68 †
Born: 1911
Born: December 28
Died: 1980
Died: August 27
Humorist
Journalist
Writer
New York City
New York
Samuel Levenson
Gotten
Cards
Arithmetic
Mark
Assessment
Came
Report
Mother
Card
Two
Showed
Home
Reports
Wanted
Points

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The chaplain of the Senate does not pray for the Senate. He watches the Senate and prays for the country.
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People, more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed.
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You must pay for your sins. If you have already paid, please ignore this notice.
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It was on my fifth birthday that Papa put his hand on my shoulder and said, 'Remember, my son, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.'
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I'm gonna put all my money into taxes. They're sure to go up.
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I'm going to stop putting things off, starting tomorrow!
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Just try to be happy. Unhappiness starts with wanting to be happier.
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I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?
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Siblings: children of the same parents, each of whom is perfectly normal until they get together.
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Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.
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When I was a boy I used to do what my father wanted. Now I have to do what my boy wants. My problem is: When am I going to do what I want?
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Courage is walking naked through a cannibal village
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We may not always see eye to eye, but we can try to see heart to heart.
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If you want to know how your girl will treat you after marriage, just listen to her talking to her little brother.
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Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.
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The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.
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Learn from other people's mistakes. Life is too short to make them all yourself.
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It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.
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