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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Haven
Moon
Pussies
Bring
Pussy
Space
Russians
Back
Flag
Really
Flags
Impress
Havens

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
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I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
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Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
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If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
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It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.
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You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
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I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
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I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
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I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
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Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
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Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Sam Kinison
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I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
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I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
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John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
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In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
Sam Kinison