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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Main
Guess
Rock
Rocks
Influence
Exes
Wife
Wives
Jesus
Influences
Order
Roll

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
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It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
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I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
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I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
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I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
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I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
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I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
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In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
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You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
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I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
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If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
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Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
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So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
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How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
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John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
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