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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
Sam Kinison
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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Rock
Rocks
Influence
Exes
Wife
Wives
Jesus
Influences
Order
Roll
Main
Guess
More quotes by Sam Kinison
What happened? Satan was busy?
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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
Sam Kinison
I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Sam Kinison
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Sam Kinison
I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
Sam Kinison
So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
Sam Kinison
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move.
Sam Kinison
There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
Sam Kinison
In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
Sam Kinison
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison