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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Guy
Read
Jesus
Didn
Scare
Back
Tough
Ever
Dead
Life
Everybody
Came
More quotes by Sam Kinison
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison
My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison
You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
Sam Kinison
In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
Sam Kinison
When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Sam Kinison
What happened? Satan was busy?
Sam Kinison
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
Sam Kinison
It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.
Sam Kinison
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
Sam Kinison
I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
Sam Kinison
Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
Sam Kinison
You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Sam Kinison
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Sam Kinison
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
Sam Kinison
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
Sam Kinison
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Sam Kinison
I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
