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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Ever
Dead
Life
Everybody
Came
Guy
Read
Jesus
Didn
Scare
Back
Tough
More quotes by Sam Kinison
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison
There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
Sam Kinison
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Sam Kinison
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
Sam Kinison
My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison
John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
Sam Kinison
Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
Sam Kinison
When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Sam Kinison
Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
Sam Kinison
I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
Sam Kinison
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
Sam Kinison
I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
Sam Kinison
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Sam Kinison
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
