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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Running
Ending
Else
Jail
Comedian
Comedy
Either
Dies
Happy
Funny
Cocaine
More quotes by Sam Kinison
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
Sam Kinison
Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
Sam Kinison
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison
What happened? Satan was busy?
Sam Kinison
My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Sam Kinison
How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
Sam Kinison
When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Sam Kinison
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
Sam Kinison
So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move.
Sam Kinison
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
Sam Kinison
You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Sam Kinison
So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
Sam Kinison