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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Comedian
Comedy
Either
Dies
Happy
Funny
Cocaine
Running
Ending
Else
Jail

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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What happened? Satan was busy?
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So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
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Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
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You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
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Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
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I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
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It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.
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Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
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How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
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I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
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I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
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In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
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It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison
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You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Sam Kinison
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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
Sam Kinison
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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
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Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
Sam Kinison