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What happened? Satan was busy?

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Funny
Satan
Divorce
Busy
Happened

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
Sam Kinison
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I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
Sam Kinison
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Sam Kinison
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You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Sam Kinison
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If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
Sam Kinison
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I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
Sam Kinison
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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
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I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
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How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
Sam Kinison
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In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
Sam Kinison
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Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
Sam Kinison
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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
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You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
Sam Kinison
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I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
Sam Kinison
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Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Sam Kinison
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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
Sam Kinison
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Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison