Quote

I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

Sam Kinison

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Thing
Miss
Going
Lived
Life
Missing
View
Views
Carnal
Heaven
Screwed
Next
Inches
Two
Paying

More quotes by Sam Kinison

Image
I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
Sam Kinison
Image
You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
Sam Kinison
Image
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
Sam Kinison
Image
You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Sam Kinison
Image
In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
Sam Kinison
Image
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
Image
John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
Sam Kinison
Image
It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.
Sam Kinison
Image
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
Image
Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
Sam Kinison
Image
Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
Image
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
Image
There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
Image
So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
Image
My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison
Image
It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison
Image
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
Image
I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
Sam Kinison
Image
When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Sam Kinison
Image
If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
Sam Kinison