Quote

I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Thing
Miss
Going
Lived
Life
Missing
View
Views
Carnal
Heaven
Screwed
Next
Inches
Two
Paying

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
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John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
Sam Kinison
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Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
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I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
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You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
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Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
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You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
Sam Kinison
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I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
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How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
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What happened? Satan was busy?
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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
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So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
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Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
Sam Kinison