Quote

I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Two
Paying
Thing
Miss
Going
Lived
Life
Missing
View
Views
Carnal
Heaven
Screwed
Next
Inches

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
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Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
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I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
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How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?
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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
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I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
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Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
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Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
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So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move.
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It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.
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John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
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Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
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I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
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If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
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I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
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