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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison
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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Life
Inches
Miss
Missing
View
Views
Heaven
Two
Going
More quotes by Sam Kinison
So many of these comics are just frustrated singers or actors - they want to get a gig doing a sitcom. It's paint-by-the-numbers comedy, lame joke-telling. They're drawn to it as a career move.
Sam Kinison
I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
Sam Kinison
You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
Sam Kinison
Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
What happened? Satan was busy?
Sam Kinison
I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
Sam Kinison
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
Sam Kinison
I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
Sam Kinison
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Sam Kinison
You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Sam Kinison
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'
Sam Kinison
Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
Sam Kinison
Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
Sam Kinison
John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
Sam Kinison
I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
Sam Kinison
