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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
View
Views
Heaven
Two
Going
Life
Inches
Miss
Missing

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
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Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
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You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
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I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
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Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
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You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
Sam Kinison
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John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
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In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
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It was great to be the rock comic, the shock comic. But after you've played Giants Stadium with Bon Jovi in front of 82,000 people, after you've done the 'Wild Thing' video with Jessica Hahn and every rock band from hell, you're not gonna top that.
Sam Kinison
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I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
Sam Kinison
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I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
Sam Kinison
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I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
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What happened? Satan was busy?
Sam Kinison
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I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
Sam Kinison
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The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
Sam Kinison
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I have lived a carnal life. My view of life is 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!' I don't have to go through the thing of paying for it in the next life. I know I'm screwed in the next life.
Sam Kinison
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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
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It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison