Quote

Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

Sam Kinison

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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Stills
Thumbing
Still
Slide
Going
Slides
Bible
Build
Heaven
Water
Jesus

More quotes by Sam Kinison

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John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
Sam Kinison
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Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn't scare the F- out of everybody!
Sam Kinison
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I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
Sam Kinison
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I don't deny my life-style is occasionally pretty wild.
Sam Kinison
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I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison
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There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
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I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
Sam Kinison
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You gotta keep falling in love. You gotta believe in it. What are you going to do... give sheep the vote?
Sam Kinison
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Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
Sam Kinison
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I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
Sam Kinison
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Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
Sam Kinison
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I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
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If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
Sam Kinison
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When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Sam Kinison
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I started saying things in church that didn't meet with a lot of approval - like 'Jesus isn't coming back.' They started throwing Bibles.
Sam Kinison
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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
Sam Kinison
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Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
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What happened? Satan was busy?
Sam Kinison
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It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison
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In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.
Sam Kinison