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So many people counted on me to be the party, I had to move far enough away that they wouldn't want to drive there.
Sam Kinison
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Sam Kinison
Age: 38 †
Born: 1953
Born: December 8
Died: 1992
Died: April 10
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Preacher
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Yakima
Washington
Samuel Burl Kinison
Party
Moving
Away
Enough
Many
Counted
People
Drive
Wouldn
Move
More quotes by Sam Kinison
The Russians haven't been to the moon. You know why? Because they're space pussies... You really want to impress us? Bring us back our FLAG!
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My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!
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Ive never been against women. That anti-feminist rap is bogus. I think men should be nice to women, buy them diamonds.
Sam Kinison
Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.
Sam Kinison
Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.
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It occurred to me that there wouldn't be world hunger, if you people would MOVE WHERE THE FOOD IS!!!
Sam Kinison
I called a detox center - just to see how much it would cost: $13,000 for three weeks! My friends, if you can come up with thirteen grand, you don't have a problem yet.
Sam Kinison
If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.
Sam Kinison
Well, life was tough, but at least I was able to live it out and I was able to face death and not be afraid.
Sam Kinison
There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
Sam Kinison
I'm responsible. I even did a commercial for MTV saying how I was going to register to vote. And I still haven't.
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What happened? Satan was busy?
Sam Kinison
John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.
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I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.
Sam Kinison
You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.
Sam Kinison
When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.
Sam Kinison
Not that I want to put the entire rap music style down - I just don't like it. And I know somewhere there's gotta be another guy like that. There's gotta be a guy just like that - just like me. There's gotta be somebody, somewhere... Maybe, maybe an assassin type.
Sam Kinison
I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.
Sam Kinison
You don't know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that's nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pay your house payment. That's a tough crowd.
Sam Kinison
I'd rather entertain people than offend them.
Sam Kinison