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On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?
Sam Ewing
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Sam Ewing
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: April 9
Baseball Player
Tennessee
United States
Samuel James Ewing
Question
Plane
Told
Commercial
Doesn
Seats
Become
Devices
Cushion
Used
Planes
Cushions
Every
Stupidity
Device
Boat
Traveler
Flight
Seat
More quotes by Sam Ewing
When a husband says, I run things in my home he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.
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The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
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President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
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The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
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Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
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The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
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The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
Sam Ewing
In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
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Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.
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Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
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If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.
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The brain is like a TV set when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
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Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
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When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
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Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
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Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.
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If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
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Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
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