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If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.

Sam Ewing

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Sam Ewing
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: April 9
Baseball Player
Tennessee
United States
Samuel James Ewing
Improved
Fats
Aren
Free
Light

More quotes by Sam Ewing

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The brain is like a TV set when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
Sam Ewing
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Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
Sam Ewing
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The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
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Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
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Don't drive as if you own the road drive as if you own the car.
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
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When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
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Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.
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Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
Sam Ewing
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In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
Sam Ewing
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The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
Sam Ewing
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Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
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Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
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As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
Sam Ewing
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Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
Sam Ewing
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Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?
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Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.
Sam Ewing
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On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?
Sam Ewing
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We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.
Sam Ewing