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If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.

Sam Ewing

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Sam Ewing
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: April 9
Baseball Player
Tennessee
United States
Samuel James Ewing
Fats
Aren
Free
Light
Improved

More quotes by Sam Ewing

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The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
Sam Ewing
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Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
Sam Ewing
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On every commercial flight, the traveler is told, Your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. The question is, why doesn't the plane just become a boat?
Sam Ewing
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Half of all home accidents happen in the kitchen, and the family has to eat them.
Sam Ewing
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When a husband says, I run things in my home he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.
Sam Ewing
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Highways are full of careless drivers who are always too close in front of you.
Sam Ewing
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The brain is like a TV set when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
Sam Ewing
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Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
Sam Ewing
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Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
Sam Ewing
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The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
Sam Ewing
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As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown up, a credit card does it.
Sam Ewing
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Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?
Sam Ewing
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In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
Sam Ewing
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When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
Sam Ewing
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Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.
Sam Ewing
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Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk to reach a high shelf.
Sam Ewing
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We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.
Sam Ewing
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A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night. She dreamed she'd married a millionaire. You're lucky, sighed the companion. My wife dreams that in the daytime.
Sam Ewing
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President Herbert Hoover returned his salary to the government. His idea caught on, and now we're all doing it.
Sam Ewing
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The trouble with giving advice is that others want to return the favor.
Sam Ewing