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Nobody's too fat - they're just too short.

Sam Ewing

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Sam Ewing
Age: 75
Born: 1949
Born: April 9
Baseball Player
Tennessee
United States
Samuel James Ewing
Insult
Fats
Short
Nobody

More quotes by Sam Ewing

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Many trees could be saved if the government stopped printing tax forms.
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Some people are much like blisters-they don't show up until the work is done.
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Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
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Life begins as a quest of the child for the man, and ends as a journey by the man to rediscover the child.
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Ever notice that nothing changes the color of paint like putting it on a wall?
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If we are what we eat, why aren't we new, improved, fat-free, and light.
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Computers are like bikinis. They save people a lot of guesswork.
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In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to 'Until debt do us part'.
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Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.
Sam Ewing
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The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.
Sam Ewing
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When a husband says, I run things in my home he may mean the washing machine, the dishwasher and the vacuum cleaner.
Sam Ewing
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The brain is like a TV set when it goes blank, it's a good idea to turn off the sound.
Sam Ewing
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Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.
Sam Ewing
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Don't drive as if you own the road drive as if you own the car.
Sam Ewing
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When you feel neglected, think of the female salmon, who lays 3,000,000 eggs but no one remembers her on Mother's Day.
Sam Ewing
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Youth is when you think you'll live forever. Old age is when you wonder how you've lived so long.
Sam Ewing
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The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and the amount it has the nerve to collect.
Sam Ewing
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If you believe the past can't be changed, you haven't read a celebrity's autobiography.
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The reason that so many of us cannot save money is because of our friends. They're always buying something we can't afford.
Sam Ewing
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We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is profit.
Sam Ewing