Quote

I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.

Russell Howard

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Russell Howard
Age: 44
Born: 1980
Born: March 23
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Bristol
Gloucestershire
Russell Joseph Howard
Lived
Humor
Went
Guy
Funny
Slippers
Used
Counted
Rice
Mental

More quotes by Russell Howard

Image
I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.
Russell Howard
Image
Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you.
Russell Howard
Image
With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'
Russell Howard
Image
From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!
Russell Howard
Image
Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'
Russell Howard
Image
Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable.
Russell Howard
Image
Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!
Russell Howard
Image
What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!
Russell Howard
Image
The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
Russell Howard
Image
Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?
Russell Howard
Image
Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!
Russell Howard