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From the makers of Alien vs. Predator: Alien vs. Pingu. K9 - stop humping the toaster!

Russell Howard

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Russell Howard
Age: 44
Born: 1980
Born: March 23
Comedian
Screenwriter
Stand-Up Comedian
Television Actor
Television Presenter
Bristol
Gloucestershire
Russell Joseph Howard
Aliens
Humor
Stop
Humping
Funny
Toaster
Toasters
Predator
Alien
Makers

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I'm the munter of my friends. I've got wonky teeth and a lazy eye. My friend Rob is disgusted I'm a heart-throb.
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Kids did really well in their A levels, how do we respond? 'A Levels are getting easier, in my day you had to do fifty questions in a minute, if you got one wrong, they killed your dad!
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The last time I saw African kids this excited, Madonna was at their school with a net.
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With Michael Jackson, what I thought was really interesting was the people saying: 'He looked really well in that final video.' I was, like: 'No, he didn't - he looked like someone had melted goat's cheese over a sex doll.'
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Some people in England only have their wheelie bins collected once a fortnight. Their suffering is unimaginable.
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Unlikely things to see in a Valentine's card - I may be dyslexic but that doesn't mean I don't vole you.
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Have you ever thought about letting Cheesus into your Life?
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I lived with a guy who had OCD and I used to put Rice Krispies in his slippers before I went out. He went mental, but not before he counted them all.
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Are you recycling? Are you!? You just killed a polar bear! YOU!
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What's the opposite of opposite? Consider yourself bamboozled!
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Do you reckon the Queen has ever pulled a blanket up so just her head's showing and gone 'Philip, look at me! I'm a stamp!'
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