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If your body is 90% water what have you got to drink water all the time for? Why can't you just have some crisps?

Russell Brand

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Russell Brand
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: June 4
Actor
Autobiographer
Blogger
Columnist
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Producer
Guitarist
Journalist
Musician
Novelist
Playwright
Poet
Grays
Essex
Russell Edward Brand
Comedy
Water
Funny
Body
Time
Crisps
Drink

More quotes by Russell Brand

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We continue to be spilled on by consumerism even though we know it doesn't make us happy.
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Consciousness does affect matter.
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The only systems we can afford to employ are those that rationally serve the planet first, then all humanity. Not out of some woolly, bullshit tree-hugging piffle but because we live on it, currently without alternatives.
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It seems to me that actual democracy is where all of us get to participate and it's not just a sort of a blunt little dry hump in a ballot box, but an actual penetrative process.
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Have you considered that the Bible, like all religious doctrine, may be allegorical and symbolic, to direct us toward one holy entity of love, as opposed to a simplistic litiginous text to direct the behavior of human beings?
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No one shuts their laptop after looking at pornography and says, 'What a productive time I just spent connecting with the world!'
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Animals, children, and the working class comprise the company in which I'll feel most at ease.
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Sometimes, as a comedian, a line will come to you, that is so beautiful, so perfect, that you think: I did not create this line. This line belongs to all of us. Surely this is a line of God
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Democracy is a gleaming Excalibur - let's not use it just to mend the toaster.
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I also quite like to be recognized by children I find it sweet.
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How we treat the vulnerable is how we define ourselves as a species.
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On respect for the Queen: When I lick a stamp I always do it with my eyes closed.
Russell Brand
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To this day, I feel a fierce warmth for women that have the same disregard for the social conventions of sexual protocol as I do. I love it when I meet a woman and her sexuality is dancing across her face, so it's apparent that all we need to do is nod and find a cupboard.
Russell Brand
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... And drinking neat liquor from the bottle, with all my long hair and my shirt undone and my beads, not so much the lizard king, more a gecko duchess, I fitted in nicely with their idea of what a creative person should be.
Russell Brand
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Thus another friendship was dashed on the cruel rocks amid the storm of my self-destruction.
Russell Brand
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When I was growing up, I thought I'd be a lot happier if I was famous and successful and if I had money.
Russell Brand
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This is no time for drinking a mug of water - which you would do nowhere else in the world. A mug of water! You just don't drink water from mugs, do ya? Except on the telly. Water out of a mug! Should be a hot drink... mug of water.
Russell Brand
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It is difficult to feel sympathy for these people. It is difficult to regard some bawdy drunk and see them as sick and powerless. It is difficult to suffer the selfishness of a drug addict who will lie to you and steal from you and forgive them and offer them help. Can there be any other disease that renders its victims so unappealing?
Russell Brand
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Even in name, he seems like a Victorian oddity. Igor, fetch 'the Crouch' from the catacombs, we're going to the graveyard.
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It's highly psychological, and very beautiful, and overwhelming, and real, and trippy!
Russell Brand