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I like threesomes with two women, not because I'm a cynical sexual predator. Oh no! But because I'm a romantic. I'm looking for The One. And I'll find her more quickly if I audition two at a time.
Russell Brand
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Russell Brand
Age: 49
Born: 1975
Born: June 4
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Russell Edward Brand
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More quotes by Russell Brand
... And drinking neat liquor from the bottle, with all my long hair and my shirt undone and my beads, not so much the lizard king, more a gecko duchess, I fitted in nicely with their idea of what a creative person should be.
Russell Brand
In England, we have such good manners that if someone says something impolite, the police will get involved.
Russell Brand
If you're a drug addict, then you've always got drugs, so you're a criminal. So you're gonna get into problems.
Russell Brand
No-one really feels self-confident deep down because it's an artificial idea. Really, people aren't that worried about what you're doing or what you're saying, so you can drift around the world relatively anonymously: you must not feel persecuted and examined. Liberate yourself from that idea that people are watching you.
Russell Brand
Say I feel all sad and self-indulgent, then get stung by a wasp, my misery feels quite abstract and I long just to be in spiritual pain once more - 'damn you tiny assassin, clad in yellow and black, how I crave my former innocence where melancholy was my only trial'.
Russell Brand
It seems to me that actual democracy is where all of us get to participate and it's not just a sort of a blunt little dry hump in a ballot box, but an actual penetrative process.
Russell Brand
And I don't think we should be continuing to propagate the idea that famous people are magical or special because it makes people feel like their lives ain't no good.
Russell Brand
How we treat the vulnerable is how we define ourselves as a species.
Russell Brand
Don't listen to me. I'm a maniac, but the voice in your head, ask it Is it right to kill 200 million animals simply for fun?. What did it say? Right. There you go.
Russell Brand
No one shuts their laptop after looking at pornography and says, 'What a productive time I just spent connecting with the world!'
Russell Brand
I thought I was promiscuous, but it turns out I was just thorough.
Russell Brand
Over the road there was a church: a modern gray building, which constantly played a recording of church bells. Strange it was. Why no proper bells? I never went in but I bet it was a robot church for androids, where the Bible was in binary and their Jesus had laser eyes and metal claws.
Russell Brand
Normally, I'm good at first dates, 'cause that's the only date I ever have, so I know how to control it and be confident.
Russell Brand
My life is just a series of embarrassing incidents strung together by telling people about those embarrassing incidents.
Russell Brand
The more people who have access to this vital information the better society will be.
Russell Brand
The best thing you can do is fall in love. My life has been changed by falling in love.
Russell Brand
I've always been a 'your parents have got to come up to the school' type of person. Even now, when I do something wrong - if I say something inappropriate on a live tv show, for example - I half expect to have to deliver a note to Barbara Brand: 'Please come up to Channel 4 head office, Russell's done something despicable.
Russell Brand
I don't see why someone should lose their life just so you can have a snack.
Russell Brand
As a producer, you've got to be involved in helping out with solving problems.
Russell Brand
Consciousness exists beyond your head, between our heads, and it can manifest harmony.
Russell Brand
