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Situation comedy on television has thrived for years on 'canned' laughter, grafted by gaglines by technicians using records of guffawing audiences that have been dead for years.

Russell Baker

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Russell Baker
Age: 93 †
Born: 1925
Born: August 14
Died: 2019
Died: January 21
Autobiographer
Journalist
Writer
Morrisonville
Virginia
Russell Wayne Baker
Comedy
Canned
Situation
Technicians
Audience
Audiences
Years
Using
Laughter
Records
Dead
Grafted
Television
Thrived

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When you're the only pea in the pod, your parents are likely to get you confused with the Hope diamond.
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Journalist: A person with nothing on his mind and the power to express it.
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The people who are always hankering loudest for some golden yesteryear usually drive new cars.
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I frankly admit to not knowing who I am. This is why I refuse to buy clothes that will tell people who I want them to think I am.
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Windows 95 is what Rube Goldberg would have designed if he'd studied cartooning at M.I.T.
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Anticipating that most poetry will be worse than carrying heavy luggage through O'Hare Airport, the public, to its loss, reads very little of it.
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Every day and in every way, baseball gets fancier. A few more years and they'll be playing on oriental rugs.
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Journalism talk is part of the nonstop background noise of American life.
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In an age when the fashion is to be in love with yourself, confessing to be in love with somebody else is an admission of unfaithfulness to one's beloved.
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I've had an unhappy life, thank God.
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The people who say: 'You are what you eat' have always seemed addled to me. In my opinion, you are what you think, and if you don't think, you can eat all the meat in Kansas City and still be nothing but a vegetable.
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Research is a scientific activity dedicated to discovering what makes grass green.
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Skinny women don't enjoy being told they're skinny nowadays. They enjoy telling you how they got that way, as though starvation were an achievement.
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A railroad station? That was sort of a primitive airport, only you didn't have to take a cab 20 miles out of town to reach it.
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Humans treat time as a map and always know where they are located on it and respond with the appropriate emotion.
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The dirty work at political conventions is almost always done in the grim hours between midnight and dawn. Hangmen and politicians work best when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb.
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A group of politicians deciding to dump a President because his morals are bad is like the Mafia getting together to bump off the Godfather for not going to church on Sunday.
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Sending grown-ups up the wall is one of the things adolescence is all about. A few years ago it was done with rock 'n' roll music. Now at least they can do it quietly with a home computer.
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Goat cheese... produced a bizarre eating era when sensible people insisted that this miserable cheese produced by these miserable creatures reared on miserable hardscrabble earth was actually superior to the magnificent creamy cheeses of the noblest dairy animals bred in the richest green valleys of the earth.
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What sweeter words can fall on the human ear? It's going to be May all week long.
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