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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Marriage
Elections
Cause
Hurts
Hurt
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Gay
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My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
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Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
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You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
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Half the world's starving the other half is trying to lose weight.
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
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In the new world every position of power evacuated by an arrested and beheaded pedophile or bankster will be filled with a grandmother who has pledged to create heaven on earth for all children, animal and humans with the stolen money we have recovered.
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
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Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
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Excuse the mess but we live here.
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I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great.
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I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
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I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.
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