Quote

In the new world every position of power evacuated by an arrested and beheaded pedophile or bankster will be filled with a grandmother who has pledged to create heaven on earth for all children, animal and humans with the stolen money we have recovered.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Money
Arrested
Power
Stolen
Earth
Grandmother
Humans
Filled
Evacuated
Children
Position
Pedophile
Every
Create
Beheaded
World
Animal
Pledged
Heaven
Recovered

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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.
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two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
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I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
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You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
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Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.
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Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
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Impeach the President and the Vice President, they are traitors to America, and so are all of their supporters. Impeach! Anyone in congress who refuses to save our union from these traitors by doing nothing needs to be recalled.
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
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Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
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I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
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My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
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