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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Able
Find
Writing
Good
Joke
Jokes
Write
Order
Truth
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.
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politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
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I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
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I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.
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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
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Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
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Nobody wanted the Roseanne show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.
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I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
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I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
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Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.
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The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
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Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
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