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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Truth
Able
Find
Writing
Good
Joke
Jokes
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More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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I'm either mentally ill or Jewish. I can't sometimes tell the difference.
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To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
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Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?
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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
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I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful.
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
Roseanne Barr
