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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
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Truth
Able
Find
Writing
Good
Joke
Jokes
Write
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
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There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
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I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.
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I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life.
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.
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A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
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A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
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You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
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