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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 71
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Beer
Smell
Drink
Cans
House
Laying
Around
Safer
Better
Quit
Feel
Quitting
Feels
Smoking

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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
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I like to get people talking. I am a provocateur, and I do like getting on Twitter and riling people up. You know what, after a while some sane dialogue and sane conclusions come of that kind of thing.
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I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful.
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Laugh every day as much as you can.
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A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
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Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been a really great thing in my life.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
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I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
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Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
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