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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Husband
Says
Lasts
Last
Remember
Wells
Well
Time
Sex

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
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US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
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Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
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I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.
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My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
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Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
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Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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