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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Last
Remember
Wells
Well
Time
Sex
Husband
Says
Lasts

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
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My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
Roseanne Barr
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There isn't a problem on this earth that a doughnut cannot make better.
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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.
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My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
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Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
Roseanne Barr
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One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.
Roseanne Barr
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Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
Roseanne Barr
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My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
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Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
Roseanne Barr
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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr