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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Life
Avoided
Cool
Deal
Deals
Reality
Kind
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
Roseanne Barr
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
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Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
Roseanne Barr
two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
Roseanne Barr
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Roseanne Barr
You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.
Roseanne Barr
I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
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I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
Roseanne Barr
A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
Roseanne Barr
The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
Roseanne Barr
I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
Roseanne Barr
Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
Roseanne Barr
Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
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I like to get people talking. I am a provocateur, and I do like getting on Twitter and riling people up. You know what, after a while some sane dialogue and sane conclusions come of that kind of thing.
Roseanne Barr
The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
Roseanne Barr
I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
Roseanne Barr
Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.
Roseanne Barr
I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
Roseanne Barr
