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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Deal
Deals
Reality
Kind
Life
Avoided
Cool
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.
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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
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I don't really want to hang out with politicians. I'd rather go straight to hell, and not collect $200.
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
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Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
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A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
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Somewhere within the concept of justice, the worst of the guilty must always be removed. I cannot divorce this, not completely. The people must have justice and so I want to reinstate and enshrine the blessed and holy guillotine!
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
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I like to get people talking. I am a provocateur, and I do like getting on Twitter and riling people up. You know what, after a while some sane dialogue and sane conclusions come of that kind of thing.
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TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.
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Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
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I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
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Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
Roseanne Barr
Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
Roseanne Barr
