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politics and religion in the United States work like the twin grips of a pair of pliers on a critical mass of the masses.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
United
Twins
States
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Masses
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Pairs
Critical
Mass
Pliers
Politics
Grips
Religion
Twin
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
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Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
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The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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I'm so much more famous than I am financially successful.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.
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I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
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