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You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Never
Like
York
City
Afraid
Cities
Call
Stuff
Must

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I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
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My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.
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My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
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My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
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TV family sitcoms have always been about fathers who know best and mothers who are so enchanted with everything they do. I wanted to be the first mom to be a mom on TV. I wanted to sent out a message about how us women really feel.
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I was raised on government cheese. As an adult, in my first marriage, my husband and I worked real hard just to go bankrupt. I happened to write some jokes about it. I did real well for myself.
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Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
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