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I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 71
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Stuff
Money
Anything
Done
Never
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
Judaism is one of the last of the world's matrilineal philosophies. Matriarchies are always the cultures that patriarchy attacks and decimates, because they don't spend all their money on the military like patriarchy does. They are easy prey.
Roseanne Barr
Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
Roseanne Barr
I am an observant Jew! Now my secret is out.
Roseanne Barr
I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
Roseanne Barr
One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.
Roseanne Barr
My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
Roseanne Barr
Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.
Roseanne Barr
The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
Roseanne Barr
Being hated and hunted and blamed for your own suffering makes people kind of testy, nervous, and on edge, and often fundamentalist and extreme. Bombs get thrown only when people cannot honestly talk together.
Roseanne Barr
A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
Roseanne Barr
Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
Roseanne Barr
Excuse the mess but we live here.
Roseanne Barr
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.
Roseanne Barr
I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
Roseanne Barr
I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
Roseanne Barr
My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
Roseanne Barr
My husband says, 'God, Roseanne, I can't remember the last time we had sex.' Well, I can, and that is why we ain't doing it.
Roseanne Barr
I think that all comics or humorists, or whatever we are, ask questions. That's what we're supposed to do. But I not only ask the questions, I offer solutions.
Roseanne Barr