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I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Stuff
Money
Anything
Done
Never
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
Roseanne Barr
I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.
Roseanne Barr
Who's elk horn do I have to blow in order to get something to eat around here?
Roseanne Barr
I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
Roseanne Barr
This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.
Roseanne Barr
I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.
Roseanne Barr
My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
Roseanne Barr
I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
Roseanne Barr
I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
Roseanne Barr
Excuse the mess but we live here.
Roseanne Barr
I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
Roseanne Barr
The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
Roseanne Barr
A lot of people in television who've had successful shows claim the 'Roseanne' show as their starting place, and I'm really proud of that.
Roseanne Barr
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
I have a fierce eating disorder that has survived even bariatric surgery. I got even fatter after that! Hey, maybe fat people are just trying to get closer to others, did anybody ever that of that?!
Roseanne Barr
A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
Roseanne Barr
It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
Roseanne Barr
I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
Roseanne Barr
I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of war itself which is largely a large load of bullshit.
Roseanne Barr
