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Everything here must be done twice as no one can do it right the first time.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Everything
First
Done
Right
Must
Time
Twice
Firsts
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
Roseanne Barr
Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.
Roseanne Barr
I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
Roseanne Barr
You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.
Roseanne Barr
There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
Roseanne Barr
Nobody wanted the Roseanne show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.
Roseanne Barr
My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
Roseanne Barr
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
Roseanne Barr
I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
Roseanne Barr
I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great.
Roseanne Barr
I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
Roseanne Barr
Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
Roseanne Barr
I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
Roseanne Barr
Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?
Roseanne Barr
I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
Roseanne Barr
I like to get people talking. I am a provocateur, and I do like getting on Twitter and riling people up. You know what, after a while some sane dialogue and sane conclusions come of that kind of thing.
Roseanne Barr
You must never be afraid in New York City, because then you will call bad stuff to you and you will not like it there.
Roseanne Barr
Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
Roseanne Barr
I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.
Roseanne Barr