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two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Hypocrisy
Cake
Chocolate
Two
Things

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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Any Hamas or Zionist type who tries to interfere with the labor unions and grab the money will be marched to the guillotines and subsequently beheaded. And isn't that easier and more productive than some endless, bloody conflict? So sayeth the gospel of common sense. Happy Mother's Day.
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I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.
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Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
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It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
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I meditate so I know how to find a peaceful place within to be calm and peaceful.
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I always had a dissociative disorder. But I healed from it over the course of 14 years of big-time therapy. But, you know, I mean, everybody's kind of loony now. So I was kind of a pioneer in the mental illness thing, too.
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
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A lot of times nerds are really artists listening to the beat of another drummer.
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My hope is that gays will be running the world, because then there would be no war. Just a greater emphasis on military apparel.
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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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I've never done anything for money, and that is why I got money. When you do stuff for money, you never get money.
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Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
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