Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.
Roseanne Barr
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Locked
Husband
Asked
Space
Happy
House
Never
Husbands
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
Roseanne Barr
I'm a comic, and I'm supposed to outrage and make people laugh, Part of makin' people laugh is to shake up their thinkin'. That's what I came here to do.
Roseanne Barr
The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
Roseanne Barr
two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
Roseanne Barr
Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
Roseanne Barr
Why have I been chosen to deliver the message of female intelligence and its divinity to a deaf world of males? I have asked my god that question and She answered, 'Hey, why not you Roseanne?' Indeed, why not each of us?
Roseanne Barr
You may marry the man of your dreams, ladies, but fourteen years later you're married to a couch that burps.
Roseanne Barr
You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.
Roseanne Barr
Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
Roseanne Barr
In the new world every position of power evacuated by an arrested and beheaded pedophile or bankster will be filled with a grandmother who has pledged to create heaven on earth for all children, animal and humans with the stolen money we have recovered.
Roseanne Barr
I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
Roseanne Barr
I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
Roseanne Barr
I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
Roseanne Barr
I actually get more conservative when I'm in Vegas.
Roseanne Barr
I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
Roseanne Barr
Honestly, a lot of the human etiquette I learned in life I learned from, like, thank-you notes and dating Jimmy Kimmel.
Roseanne Barr
My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
Roseanne Barr
US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
Roseanne Barr
There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
Roseanne Barr
I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.
Roseanne Barr
