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Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Locked
Husband
Asked
Space
Happy
House
Never
Husbands
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
Finding a calm place inside myself through meditation kind of helped me to get over a lot of mental illness ... it's just been a really great thing in my life.
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Adults in a free country should be able to smoke a joint if they want to.
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I want to be the girl in Indiana Jones. I would love to do an adventure movie where I was saving the world. It might be cool if I used a lot of kitchen tools to fight off the enemy.
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Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
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There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
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My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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Humanity is a failed experiment, but I think I'm God and I'd like to start over. I don't want to die, I just want everyone else to. I certainly would not be lonely. It would be exciting never having to listen to another person again but just my own self droning on and on. That's why I write a blog. And I read it, too.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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I avoided reality for most of my life. But once you deal with it, it's kind of cool.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
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I try to do women's-point-of-view comedy. The joke is, 'This is what I think there's the truth.' I try to think of stuff that's real broad, but the more personal it is, the more universal it is. All my friends go through the same stuff.
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I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.
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US needs to fix up it's election system so that votes are fairly counted, and the Electoral College is removed.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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