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You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Body
Parallel
Really
Parallels
Men
Park
Parks
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Learn
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More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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Hillary Clinton and Barack Hussein Obama cannot win, and they are put in place to assure a victory by Mitt Romney... this is the plan of all the insurance companies that are owned by Mormon interests. It is unfolding as the Mormon Church planned over the last fifty years.
Roseanne Barr
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I want to say that nobody accuses their parents of abusing them without justification to do that. I didn't just make it up. A lot of things were true and abusive and horrible things that happened to me that my father did.
Roseanne Barr
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
Roseanne Barr
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm fat and proud of it. If someone asks me how my diet is going, I say 'Fine - how was your lobotomy?'
Roseanne Barr
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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
Roseanne Barr
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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
Roseanne Barr
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
Roseanne Barr
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
Roseanne Barr
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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
Roseanne Barr
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After my 1985 appearance on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson, I was wooed by producers in Hollywood, who told me they wanted to turn my act into a sitcom.
Roseanne Barr
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We're not meant to be parents when we're 50.
Roseanne Barr
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My husband is almost as heavy as I am. We were married in adjoining churches.
Roseanne Barr
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The only options open for girls then were of course mother, secretary or teacher. At least that's what we all thought and were preparing ourselves for. Now, I must say how lucky we are, as women, to live in an age where 'Dental Hygienist' has been added to the list.
Roseanne Barr
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Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver.
Roseanne Barr
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The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
Roseanne Barr
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
Roseanne Barr
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
Roseanne Barr
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They've said 'Roseanne's nuts' for years, and now I'm going to make that a reality - I'm all about nuts now, macadamia nuts!
Roseanne Barr