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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Widow
Widows
Divorce
Upset

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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Patriarchy is impotent and qualitatively unable to solve even the most simple problems in the cosmos such as picking up their own socks or placing a carton of milk back in the refrigerator after drinking from it.
Roseanne Barr
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
Roseanne Barr
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I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.
Roseanne Barr
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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
Roseanne Barr
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I first would allow the guilty bankers to pay, you know, the ability to pay back anything over $100 million [of] personal wealth because I believe in a maximum wage of $100 million. And if they are unable to live on that amount of that amount then they should, you know, go to the reeducation camps and if that doesn't help, then being beheaded.
Roseanne Barr
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I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.
Roseanne Barr
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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My kids were completely out of control, while I was working fifteen hours a day plus weekends. I screamed a lot, something I'm not particularly proud of, but it was that or firearms.
Roseanne Barr
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
Roseanne Barr
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
Roseanne Barr
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
Roseanne Barr
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
Roseanne Barr
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I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.
Roseanne Barr
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Excuse the mess but we live here.
Roseanne Barr
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
Roseanne Barr
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I'm a farmer now, and it's fantastic. My goal is to be totally self-sufficient and grow everything that I eat. There's something about earning your dinner that's cool.
Roseanne Barr
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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
Roseanne Barr
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I try to tell people to keep having hope. It's always what you don't know and don't expect that's gonna be so great.
Roseanne Barr
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Illiteracy is a huge problem in America. One in three adults in our country is illiterate.
Roseanne Barr
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
Roseanne Barr