Quote

This bugs me the worst. That's when the husband thinks that the wife knows where everything is, huh? Like they think the uterus is a tracking device. He comes in: Hey, Roseanne! Roseanne! Do we have any Cheetos left? Like he can't go over and lift up the sofa cushion himself.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Everything
Hey
Sofa
Think
Lifts
Cushions
Thinking
Thinks
Sofas
Like
Husband
Tracking
Worst
Device
Wife
Bugs
Comes
Lift
Uterus
Left
Devices
Cushion

More quotes by Roseanne Barr

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I have great parents, and they both taught me great things, but my formative years were boundaryless.
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I like facts and data because they help me think clearly, beyond the cultural messages that I ingest unwittingly, and sometimes find myself regurgitating almost unconsciously.
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
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I simply care nothing for any of your religions, as all three are fundamentally flawed, unlike the Church of Common Sense, right from the start! They call God he instead of she and all three would like to burn me at the stake for saying that!
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We never get sick of each other. That's how sick we are.
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Oh, hi. I been married thirteen years, and lemme tell you, it's a thrill to be out of the house. I never get out of the house. I stay home all the time. I never do anything fun 'cause I'm a housewife. I hate the word housewife. I prefer to be called domestic goddess.
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I have horrible stage fright - you know how you go through the bi-polar stage fright thing? Then you go on drugs to get over the stage fright and perform, but then you're not funny at all.
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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I didn't know that being in a relationship meant you had to be nice. I thought it meant you had to hack away at the other person until they were beaten down and then were too afraid to leave.
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Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
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Most of the books call Her a He, but I am able to ascertain what is meant, despite that semantic error.
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I have a huge crush on President George W. Bush. I saw him at a recent fundraiser, and he`s a babe. He`s got that Ronald Reagan charm. I think he`s hot. I respect his wife, but if he wasn`t married I`d be putting on my cowboy boots and coming around.
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I have five kids from three marriages. I come from a trailer park. My sister and brother are both gay. I have multiple personalities.
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To say that I have an undisciplined mind would not be incorrect overall, but it's a little off the mark because I have great discipline when I write - but only for about ten minutes.
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I figure if the kids are alive at the end of the day, I've done my job.
Roseanne Barr
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Legalize hemp and allow women to grow it and make food, clothing and housing for pennies from it and legalize marijuana too. Let women integrate their divided consciousness with a natural herb instead of doctors' pills that kill the liver.
Roseanne Barr
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
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The basic thing is, people want to get paid, so they'll say the things that get them paid, in entertainment or politics.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
Roseanne Barr