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Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Right
Labor
Wants
Anyone
American
War
Left
Earth
Export
Everything
Slavery
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Excuse the mess but we live here.
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My husband and I didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement. We signed a mutual suicide pact.
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Meditation state is a place of deep relaxation where you can pinpoint the things you do and to set a paradigm switch from effect to cause. So how to be a cause in your own life.
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I call myself a 'domestic goddess.
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The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
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The one who cares the most wins. ... That's how I knew I'd end up with everyone else waving the white flags and not me. That's how I knew I'd be the last person standing when it was all over. ... I cared the most.
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My dad taught me swears when I was a toddler, and I saw, at a really early age, that if I shocked people, I would get approval, and it made my arms itch with glee. I got addicted to it. It became this source of power in a totally powerless life.
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If you spend all your time worrying about dying, living isn't going to be much fun.
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In order to be able to write a good joke, you have to find the truth.
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
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I will outlaw bullshit. After the passage of this law the patriarchy will inevitably start to crumble as will the concept of war itself which is largely a large load of bullshit.
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Truth is available to the ears that can hear it.
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
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There is no scarier chasm of darkness than the human mind.
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I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
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I had one kid with the birth control pill, I had one with the diaphram and I had one with the I.U.D. I don't even know what happened with my I.U.D. It never came out. But I have my suspicions because that kid picks up HBO.
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'Winning' in Hollywood means not just power, money, and complimentary smoked-salmon pizza, but also that everyone around you fails just as you are peaking.
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Honestly, a lot of the human etiquette I learned in life I learned from, like, thank-you notes and dating Jimmy Kimmel.
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