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Everything on this earth right now is about labor and slavery. War is the only American export left that anyone wants to buy.

Roseanne Barr

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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Right
Labor
Wants
Anyone
American
War
Left
Earth
Export
Everything
Slavery

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Birth control that really works - every night before we go to bed we spend an hour with our kids.
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Nobody wanted the Roseanne show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.
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I loved comedy all my life. I think it's a real powerful art form.
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As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.
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I think I should be here alone to rethink the world, I do. I want these lesser humans gone.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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Self-esteem is the goddamn root of all evil.
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It's the Night of the Living Dead. It's scary out here.
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My daughter made me a Jerry Springer-watching kit, with crackers, Cheez Whiz, polyester stretch pants and a T-shirt with two fat women fighting over a skinny guy.
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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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Growing up in a Jewish matriarchal world inside the patriarchal paradise of Salt Lake City, Utah, gave me increased perspective on gender issues, as it also did my gay brother and my lesbian sister. Our younger sister is the perfect Jewish-American wife and mother, and is fiercely proud of that fact.
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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
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The most out-there thing I’m saying is, ‘Don’t have babies. Don’t get married and have kids. Have a larger life than that.
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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I had - after I sang the 'Star Spangled Banner' so badly, after my tragic singing accident, after that, you know, all my stuff kind of, like, really got even more full blown and, you know, I got stage fright and, you know, I couldn't do stand-up anymore and let alone sing and all the other things.
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