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I hold to nothing but envisioning international peace and utopia. We all have many more things in common than not.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Peace
Nothing
Many
Things
Envisioning
Utopia
International
Hold
Common
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Husbands are never happy. My husband asked me for more space, so I locked him out of the house.
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I want to eat, cook, meet famous people and make fun of them.
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two things do me in: one's chocolate cake, the other's hypocrisy.
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The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.
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You can really learn from Donahue. I didn't know you could be a woman in a man's body. You go out and you can't parallel park.
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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
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Nobody wanted the Roseanne show. I heard from agents that there was no interest in a show about a fat woman and her family.
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I always felt that it was easier to take a funny person and teach them to write television than to take somebody who was a television writer and make them funny.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.
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A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal favorite, the male ego.
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I'm not upset about my divorce. I'm only upset that I'm not a widow.
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A good man doesn't just happen. They have to be created by us women. A guy is a lump like this doughnut.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of show business.
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My best friend Linda is leaving her husband just because he is unfaithful to her. That is no reason to leave the person. I feel like after that, you should stay with them and make sure that the rest of their life is sheer hell.
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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I'm never going to get married again. Three strikes, you're out. I think if I would try to get married again in California, I have to go to prison, don't I? I think you only get three.
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
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