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My family were hitters. If you made them laugh, they didn't hit you. My dad wouldn't hit me if I got him with humor right between the eyes.
Roseanne Barr
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Roseanne Barr
Age: 72
Born: 1952
Born: November 3
Actress
Blogger
Film Actor
Politician
Screenwriter
Stage Actor
Television Actor
Television Producer
Voice Actor
Writer
Salt Lake City
Utah
Roseanne Arnold
Roseanne Thomas
Roseanne Cherrie Barr
Roseanne
Family
Hitters
Didn
Dad
Right
Laugh
Made
Wouldn
Laughing
Humor
Eyes
Eye
More quotes by Roseanne Barr
Putting measures like gay marriage on ballots for elections only hurts the gay rights cause and elects more conservative politicians.
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I'm enjoying my life, post-menopause, so much. It's just so great to grow into yourself, and not be bothered with all that tyranny of biology.
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I hate alcoholics and AA (alcoholics anonymous). If you can't drink responsibly, don't drink at all. Don't go to meetings, whine about your character flaws and blame the fact that you are a sociopath on booze.
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You know, I'm blessed. 'Blessed' is a better way of saying 'rich.'
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Your body is your instrument, you play it expertly.
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One of the first things I bought when I made 'Roseanne Show' money was a farm in Iowa.
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I never do anything fun, because I'm a housewife. I hate that word 'housewife.' I prefer to be called 'domestic goddess.'
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I quit smoking. I feel better. I smell better. And it's safer to drink out of old beer cans laying around the house.
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I'm just into spirituality. I believe that in a previous life I used to be Shirley MacLaine.
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I have more money than God, but not as much as Oprah.
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When I used to watch comedians with my dad, he laid it all out for me. He wanted to be a comedian himself, and he was so funny. We'd watch stand-up on TV, and he'd tell me the subtext of what they were saying.
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Women complain about PMS, but I think of it as the only time of the month when I can be myself.
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Have you heard about the women who stabbed her husband 37 times? I admire her restraint.
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There's a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there's a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.
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The end of my addiction to fame happened at the exact moment Roseanne dropped out of the top ten, in the seventh of our nine seasons. It was mysteriously instantaneous!
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I always was a writer, but then I wanted to do stand-up because I thought that was a way that I could perform what I wrote.
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Women should try to increase their size rather than decrease it, because I believe the bigger we are, the more space we'll take up, and the more we'll have to be reckoned with.
Roseanne Barr
